Many, Many Drinks Later
by BrightSideoftheMoon
Summary: In the spirit of Halloween, Miko coerces a portion of Team Prime to go to a human party. It's the perfect opportunity to learn about what all goes on at human 'festivities,' right? For Jack, it's an awkward nightmare that has him waking up in a stranger's house. Crack fic!


**Well, I'm going to hell. This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever written. And a thanks to ghouls-and-grunge for suggesting I do something for the upcoming holiday. So in honor of Halloween, please enjoy this really weird fic. The only warnings I have are for smut and gayness, language and a** _ **lot**_ **of underage drinking.**

 **Happy Halloween!**

….

Nevada was a moderately warm place, especially during the summer months. Jack had gotten so used to living in the hot weather that he had eventually adapted to be able to wear his usual jeans and long sleeve shirt he felt comfortable in. So when all of a sudden the weather started to _drop_ Jack had to take desperate measures.

Which was why he was currently wearing a heavy jacket and a fleece scarf with his hair mashed under a knit hat. He was already butt-cold and Arcee speeding down the street _definitely_ wasn't helping. Every corner he had to grip her handlebars so tight, his numb fingers nearly broke off. And every time she decided to speed up a particularly strong gust of icy wind slapped him in the face.

"Arcee can't you slow down?" Jack yelled over the wind. "I'm freezing my ass off!"

"Well the sooner we get there, the sooner you can go indoors, isn't that what you want?" Arcee retorted but still slowed down so she was only five miles per hour over the speed limit.

She was right, so Jack grumbled a 'yes' and didn't complain about the weather anymore. He just grit his teeth together and kept blinking the cold out of his eyes.

When they finally arrived, Jack hopped off gratefully, loving the base's warm atmosphere. It was quiet even though all of the 'Bots happened to be present. Wheeljack even decided to come hang around for a few days while he worked on the Jackhammer's engine. Apparently it started smoking randomly mid-flight.

Anyway, the base was so warm, Jack could have fallen asleep right there on the floor. The only thing that prevented him from doing so was the incessant rambling of a certain punk fifteen year old.

Miko kept going on and on about a Halloween party a boy from their high school was throwing. She said he put out an open invite over social media and she was _not_ going to let any of the 'Bots miss out on witnessing a high-school party.

 _That's right,_ Jack groaned in his head. _Halloween is this Saturday._ He had almost forgotten with all the school work and the whole 'discovering aliens' thing. It should have been a dead giveaway though; he counted eight different blow up witches and spiders in people's yards. On top of that, practically every house had fake cobwebs suspended around their front doors and draped over windows. Not to mention, the skeleton with a motion sensor on it that nearly gave Jack a heart attack when he walked by and it was suddenly _fucking cackling_ at him. The entire town, with its emptiness and its assortment of quietly run-down gas stations and grocery stores, looked like something straight out of a horror movie or a scene from _The Walking Dead_.

As if Jack didn't have enough to deal with outside, the entire school decided to get _extra_ into the spirit by tossing toilet paper across the lockers and spray painting blood stains on the windows and brick walls. He hated to admit it, but it was nice seeing people get so into a holiday. And he _did_ like how the leaves were changing on the few trees in Jasper, and how freaking _everywhere_ he went there was a lingering scent of both apple _and_ pumpkin pies. Did he enjoy the atmosphere? Yes. Did he like the weather and surprise motion sensor yard decorations? Absolutely not.

So at base, Jack wasn't at all surprised to hear the upcoming holiday was the topic of discussion. The 'Bots were partially gathered around Miko while she explained the origins of Halloween. They seemed interested in hearing about her detailed descriptions of the Celtic holiday, Samhain, and how it was meant to ward off ghosts and other supernatural creatures.

Jack went to sit next to the girl on the couch while she answered questions. He reclined back as far as he could in the stiff piece of furniture and propped his legs up on the table, only half listening to the discussion. Then Miko was asking _him_ a question and he suddenly found himself forced into the conversation at hand.

"You're going to go, right?"

"Nope," he answered shortly-which was _not_ the kind of answer the girl wanted to hear.

"You have to go! It's _Halloween!_ Plus it's almost the end of your high school career! Don't you want to enjoy it?" She began protesting.

"Since when do you care about school?"

"I don't! I care about the _parties_. You don't have a choice, you're going," Miko declared, sitting back against the couch with her arms crossed firmly over her chest.

"Why don't you want to go?" Arcee asked him.

Jack honestly didn't know how to explain why he didn't want to go, he just didn't want to. But that sure as hell wasn't going to matter to Miko. "I just have a lot of homework to get through, I don't have time to-"

"Dude! You have the whole weekend! Just do it Friday or Sunday!" Miko countered. Jack opened his mouth to say something, raising his finger like he was about to make a point, but Miko cut him off, "So _you're_ going, what about the rest of you? You're going to come?"

Based on what happened with Jack, most of the 'Bots realized they weren't going to be left alone until they agreed, so they gave in. Besides, they were all at least a _little_ curious about what humans do at these type of festivities. The only two to opt out were Ratchet-who gave the girl a flat out _'no'_ in a _go fuck yourself_ sort of way and stopped all protesting right then and there. He was probably too old for it anyway. And then Optimus, who said his time would be better spent at the base than at a human festival.

But the rest of the 'Bots with their activated holoforms could go and blend in perfectly with the teenage crowd, so Miko wasn't at all worried.

It was settled. All the 'Bots except Optimus and Ratchet were to go with Jack, Miko, and Raf and follow them around in the hopes of learning more about human culture. Jack laughed to himself when he heard Optimus phrase it like that; beer pong and strobe lights didn't strike him as 'human culture.' Honestly, he was a little _worried_ about showing the Autobots all of that. He was just glad the Prime wasn't going-Jack couldn't even imagine what the Autobot leader's reaction would be. As far as Jack knew, Saturday could go _any_ way. Most of the scenarios he thought up weren't good at all, but there wasn't any backing out of it now. Not when Miko was already assigning costumes.

 _Fuck._ That was another thing he had to worry about. He could practically _see_ the evil and mischievous thoughts running through Miko's sadistic mind. So when the girl showed up at his house with a black bag filled with unknown contents he felt a dull weight drop to the very bottom of his stomach.

"Put this on," she commanded, pushing him out of the way and letting herself into his house. The girl started pulling out pieces of clothing from the bag and Jack could only gawk in horror because he wasn't even sure what it _was._ It looked like a bundle of black scarves, but when Miko spread it out for him to see he realized it was a jumpsuit of sorts. A blue stripe spread along the shoulders but Jack couldn't tell if it was part of some bigger design or something. on top of that, when the black cloth caught the light it shimmered a little-it fucking _shimmered._ it wasn't leather, but it must have been some kind of matte black latex. There was no way in hell he was putting it on.

"No," Jack shook his head.

"You didn't even try it on."

"I don't need to. It looks like it came from an adult store."

"Just _do it_."

And that's the story of how Jack ended up walking outside Saturday night dressed up as _Nightwing_ from DC comics. He had to hand it to Miko; the girl did pick a decent costume. It wasn't one of those really cheap ones you find at those cheesy party stores, it was made of decent material and had a very authentic look. The only gripe Jack had about it was how much it accentuated his _ass_. He thanked God his mother wasn't home because she would have been all over how much of him it showed off. She probably would have taken pictures to show to all of her nurse friends and used it for blackmail purposes.

"Nice outfit," Arcee commented and Jack could practically _hear_ the smirk in her voice.

"Can we please just not talk about it?" Jack pleaded and pulled the bottom of his jacket down further to try and cover more of himself up. _This night had better be over fast_ , Jack thought as he climbed into Arcee's seat.

…..

When they all pulled in along the street curb together, the members of Team Prime activated their holoforms and stepped out. Jack was impressed by how well Miko coordinated them all: Raf was decked out in a full on _Robin_ outfit, Damian Wayne style; Bumblebee had been given a cape that resembled bird wings almost, black pants and a red shirt so he looked pretty damn near close to _Red Robin;_ Wheeljack wore a brown jacket with the usual black _Red Hood_ get-up distinguishable from the comics; Arcee-being a total mom-was _Batwoman_ ; Bulkhead was sporting some nice _Batwing_ gear; and Miko wore an l black _Batgirl_ suit, probably with Cassie Cain in mind. They all looked pretty good. No cliche monster outfits in sight.

As soon as everyone was assembled Miko began forcing them all up to the house's front door and walked right in. The music playing was so loud, the people inside wouldn't have been able to hear the doorbell anyway. It was an absolute _madhouse_ in there. Jack thought about turning right back around and walking home, but then he realized it would be hours for him to make it on foot and he was not willing to go the distance with latex riding up the whole way. If Jack ever made it out of here alive, Miko was going to get it.

Miko was leading the 'Bots around the house introducing them to a few of her friends and trying to explain everyone's costumes to them. She pointed out a guy wrapped up in toilet paper was supposed to be a mummy, then rated him on his creativity-giving him a zero. Another guy walked past wearing a trench coat and black sunglasses and looking like he was about to shoot up the place was determined to be _Neo_ from _The Matrix._ He earned a seven. A girl passed by in full on gladiator armor and Miko immediately started gushing over how she had never seen anyone put so much effort into a costume for a party _ever._ So the girl got a solid ten.

Jack got separated from the rest of the 'Bots somewhere along the awkward journey through the house. He groaned upon realization that he could no longer hear Miko's excited chatter about costumes or the 'Bots enthusiastic questions, and he was completely alone-well, as alone as you can be in a house full of drunk teenagers. The sixteen-year-old decided to wander aimlessly until Miko called to tell him they were leaving. After rounding multiple corners and opening probably a hundred doors, all the while sidestepping over all the past out kids occupying every hallway, Jack concluded this wasn't a house at all- it was a fucking _corn maze._

He walking around the house of horrors in complete boredom. A few times, he anxiously checked the time on his phone and pleading that it would just turn to the designated departure time Optimus set up. Of course the more Jack looked, the more bored and restless he became. Every time he checked his phone, the time only went up by another minute. _Seriously?_ He thought, _We've been here for hours!_

Wandering around trying not to look out of place only did to make him more nervous. He wasn't even sure what he was nervous of; he was currently leaning against the rail of a flight of stairs that was far enough away from the music that it reduced it to a muffled bass shaking the house's frame. So, with a sigh, Jack thought he might as well just do _something_.

He found himself walking back towards the party, dodging masses and swarms of sweaty bodies grinding to loud music, and stepping into a large kitchen. Whoever owned the place knew enough about parties to know he or she needed alcohol because there was a hired bartender set up at a long kitchen island.

Jack didn't drink very often, his mother had told him enough times not to, but he still did it while she was at work. As long as he didn't get stupid drunk or spill it somewhere she could smell it then he was in the clear. He had restricted himself to occasions since it wasn't something he always felt the need to do-but now was a different story.

Lined up across the counter were red solo cups filled with a red punch that was undoubtedly spiked with whatever kind of liquor and tequila people got their hands on. Jack eyed them suspiciously, wondering if it was possible any of these had some kind of date-rape drug in it. He shrugged and downed the one closest to him, cringing at the burning liquid going down his throat. It had a sweet aftertaste though, so Jack picked up another and downed it like the first. Soon enough he felt himself start to relax from the buzz. The music wasn't so loud and overpowering anymore either, so that was good.

Jack made that the limit for himself: just the two, no more. But he still picked up a third cup, saying he would just take his time with this one-not that he _did._ Before he even realized it, he was tapping the bottom of the cup to get the last few drops stubbornly remaining at the bottom. _Then_ he picked up a _fourth._

 _I should probably stop now,_ Jack told himself in his head. He heard Miko shouting from some far away corner of the room and thought maybe he should go meet up with the other 'Bots to let them know he was still alive. With calculated steps-to not show how drunk he was-he tried to make it down through the hallway. A stool was conveniently in his way and he ended up tripping over it and crashing into the ground-so he decided to wait until he could walk a little straighter before meeting his friends. He didn't really want them all to see him like this. _Maybe I should have stayed away from the drinks-_

But then Jack had a _fifth_ cup in his hand that he had at some point picked up subconsciously. _What the hell did they put in this?_ Jack couldn't see straight anymore; everytime he looked down he saw six feet stumbling around instead of having just two, so he definitely couldn't _walk_ straight either-he was a mess. It wasn't much longer after that when Jack found he was having trouble forming coherent thoughts and sentences. He stumbled around a little, sometimes taking a break to sit at the bottom of the stairs or pulling up a chair somewhere.

Then Jack saw a patch of familiar looking red hair. _Sierra?_ He thought. Because of his new found drunk confidence, he had no problems calling her over. She looked different-a little taller for some reason-, but Jack blamed the hazy filter that had taken over his vision for the distortion. Sierra's mouth started moving, but Jack couldn't make out what she was saying-she was about as drunk as he was. Not long after, another patch of red-hair caught Jack's attention. _Why are there two of them?_ Jack shrugged to himself when the second Sierra walked three of them did get into a lively conversation-even though nobody knew what the other was saying-and they ended up dragging each other over to the living room where all the furniture had been pushed to the side to create a makeshift dancefloor. Jack wasn't even at all bothered about the idea of heading straight into the epicenter of all the blaring music.

…...

*With the rest of Team Prime*

Bulkhead walked next to Miko while she led them around the house pointing out stuff like a tour guide. So far she had been attentive enough to draw their attention to the few teenagers slurring through conversations with one another and those sleeping against the wall, she had called them 'drunks'-whatever that word meant. Bulk assumed the liquid they were consuming was something akin to high-grade.

Wheeljack of course took it upon himself to sample a little from every cup, glass, pitcher, or mug he found lying around. Each one gave him a new facial expression: cringes, scowls, amusement, judgement, satisfaction. Bulk watched in amazement as the other Wrecker went around bravely asking for sips out of people's cups. Now, Bulkhead hadn't been to many of these 'parties,' but he knew that _that_ wasn't a good idea. Still though, it was too late to go saying anything now; Wheeljack was already struggling to keep his footing and complaining about how someone forgot to put the Jackhammer on autopilot. The green Wrecker snickered at the looks his friend was getting and decided to let the bot have his fun.

Arcee figured out as soon as they got there the nature of the party and was debating whether they should have let Raf come along, he was only twelve. But then again, he was in highschool, so there was bound to be a lot he already figured out. Still, it didn't stop her from placing one of her fleshy servos over his human optics when they passed by a few humans 'making out'-as Miko so eloquently called it. The femme rolled her optics at how different these humans were-and they weren't even at their full mature age! Miko, Raf, and Jack never acted like this.

Raf was settled on Bumblebee's shoulders while Miko guided them around. Eventually she stopped them right in the middle of the dance floor giving them all the command to get to it. So of course Bumblebee took Raf down from his shoulders and the jumped right into the robot, attracting a lot of good attention from other teenagers. Even though the whole scene was probably overwhelming for the kid, he held it together long enough to have a good time. Miko watched them with a satisfied smirk on her face of a job well done. _Whelp, that's one stiff I was able to turn,_ she thought. _Now if I could just find that other one-_

But when Miko started scanning the crowd to find Jack, she was surprised to find him not too far away from her. And he was _dancing_. He was obviously drunk, but Miko still felt a swell of pride for the kid finally busting out of his shell-mostly she was proud of herself for prompting him to do so in the first place. Jack looked like he was _genuinely_ having a good time. Of course, there was also the chance wouldn't remember _half_ of it by the next morning-but either way, drunk Jack wasn't so stiffy. Miko watched him dance with a few other people, two who were particularly... _physical_. Both of them had red hair-even though one was an orange natural color and the other was a bright red, like it was dyed. One wore a simple pair of animal ears- _weak_ -but the taller redhead wore a long, brown leather coat with a brown wide-brimmed fedora. _Oh my God! Jack's dancing with Van Helsing!_ Miko mentally screamed at the two of them and how awesome they looked. She didn't hesitate to whip out her phone and take a picture of the two of them. Then the slightly shorter redhead leaned down and whispered something in Jack's ear, biting it for emphasis.

 _Wait, what?_ Now, Miko didn't know _what_ the guy said, but she froze thinking about what it most likely meant. Jack _looked_ drunk, but she wasn't sure. Part of her thought she should go pull Jack away so he wouldn't get hurt, but another part of her just figured Jack should go for it. He didn't let loose like this ever, so why not? Besides, he seemed enthusiastic about it enough. Miko squealed watching how the three of them _pranced_ off to some unknown destination like lovesick teenagers wanting to get a moment alone. The taller man pulled Jack by the arm and the other redhead by the hand until they were all completely out of sight.

Miko sighed, _Well, there was no stopping them now!_ She turned back to the 'Bots and Raf to make sure they were all still dancing.

….

Vince only went to the party because he knew there would be shitloads of alcohol. He grew out of candy years ago and had acquired a taste for something a lot stronger. So he always spent his Halloweens treating himself to whatever party he passed by. It didn't take long for him to feel his mind become unbelievably relaxed with drunk tranquility, he didn't even care that it was so loud he couldn't hear himself think. He wasn't totally gone yet, but he was getting there. The bully walked around the house kicking all the drunk people away with his foot while he waited for his seventh beer to start kicking in.

After that, he fell into the familiar drunk sensation he was wanting and then fell _literally_ over a broom someone dropped and left on the floor. When he was too gone to care about dignity, he started going around talking and socializing like he was able to do at school so easily. He'd admit he was having fun, but so far it was still just a typical Halloween for him. He wanted something _different._

Then he got talking to a girl-or at least what he thought was a girl, it was hard to distinguish at this point-and he laughed at few things said in their conversation. He wasn't sure what kind of crap he was spouting, but the girl was laughing with him so _some_ of it had to make sense. She was probably just as drunk as he was though. Not long after, another shorter man was up joining in on their conversation. He didn't seem all that drunk, but he was still interesting-the girl seemed to think so anyway. The three of them ended up running into the other room where everyone else was dancing and wriggling their way towards the center.

She was _beautiful._ Vince could smell the alcohol practically emanating from her and he found himself leaning impossibly closer just to smell it more clearly. It was like the smell was still getting him drunk, drunk off of _her._ He wrapped his arm around her waist and ground his hips against hers with the music. Vince was just glad he was too intoxicated to really comprehend what he was doing because he didn't usually get this close to people. It wasn't like he had a choice in the matter-they were all packed together like goddamn sardines. Even though Vince didn't like letting someone else touch the new female friend he made, the other man wasn't that bad.

In the end, the other man whispered a suggestion in the girl's ear and bit down on her cartilage to make sure he got his point across. She blushed adorably, but that could have just been alcohol. The shorter redhead gave Vince a knowing look and the bully picked up on it fast. When she nodded Vince didn't waste anytime before tugging her by the arm to his car with the other man following close behind. They dodged mass amounts of people and tripped over every little thing on the ground that was in their way. So it took them a long ass time to get out of that house of horrors but their eagerness came back full force when they stepped out into the chilly October air. Out of courtesy, Vince opened his passenger door for her, giving her a hazy smile and then shutting it behind her. He saw the man climb into the backseat and lean forward so he could still keep his hands on the girl. Then Vince hauled ass to get himself in the driver's seat and struggled to slide his key into the ignition because his hand was shaking with drunken excitement.

The whole trip was spent exchanging suggestive glances and a tense air that didn't leave until Vince finally managed to pull safely into his driveway and jumped out of his car to get the door to his house unlocked. Again, he fumbled with the key to his front door while also trying to shove his tongue down the girl's throat. He was forced to break away from their heated make out session so he could tug the key back out. The girl threw her arms around his neck and let Vince struggle to get the door open. He settled for kicking it open and nearly cracking its wood in his haste. Then he dragged the three of them inside, kicking the door shut again and tossing the girl into the couch. The whole time he kept his arms wrapped tightly around the girl's slender waist making a sport out of trying to unzip the back of her costume with his teeth. The other man ground his hips against the girl's front, kissing her passionately. She laughed and eventually tore her outfit off herself. Vince's hat fell off somewhere and so they both made quick work of removing the coat he wore and tugging his undershirt over his head. Vince decided to help the other guy out too, tugging down his pants and pulling his shirt over his head. The girl grabbed the front of his pants and started undoing his belt. Vince stripped off the last of his clothes and started to work on the girl underneath him. He felt up her chest, but suddenly realized _there was nothing to grab on to_.

 _Okay…_ so she got work done! Tons of girls do that, Vince could see how it might get annoying having breasts in the way all the time. When he faltered for a second, the man with him kept going, clearly unfazed. Vince shrugged and kept going. He went back to touching her and continued on slipping off her... _briefs._

 _Okay..._ so his lady friend was transgender. That's cool. Vince still didn't take his mouth away from hers and he just worked with what he had-which was a gorgeous ass. As soon as his drunk self decided there had been enough foreplay, he pushed into her and started thrusting lazily, loving the sound of her soft drunken moans. He leaned down slightly to lick along her neck and trailing his tongue down her chest.

One the other side of them, the other man watched intently, waiting patiently with a hungry look on his face. Her gasps and moans started to quiet down, so he picked up the pace, thrusting harder to try and bring back those sounds he loved hearing so much. She screamed when he hit a certain spot insider her. Taking that as a hint to go harder, he did and started hitting that area as hard as his incoherent mind would let him.

Just then the front door opened again and another man walked in. He carried a single bag filled with groceries over his face and struggled to move it in his arms so he could set it down on living room table. Then, like someone had just drop-kicked him in the face, he registered the very lewd sounds coming from the couch. The new red-haired arrival whirled around and immediately regretted it. "Jesus Christ, Vince!" he shouted and tried to cover his face with his arm. After that, he didn't even bother to put the groceries away, he hauled ass to his bedroom upstairs and shut the door behind him.

None of the people on the couch payed any attention to the scarred college-student falling over himself trying to get away and they just went on with their activities. Eventually, Vince was at the end of his rope and he switched out with the other man to give him his turn. Only minutes later, they both climaxed and fell on top of each other there in the living room.

….

*Back at the party*

"Where did Jack go?" Arce yelled at Miko over the music.

"I've called him like a thousand times! I saw him with some other people so he must have just decided to hang with them," Miko told her but Arcee still seemed suspicious. "I'm sure he's fine! When I saw him he was having fun so I don't want to keep bothering him."

Arcee didn't seem all that convinced but she was interrupted when Wheeljack bumped into her. "What the scrap are-?"

A _human_ girl was leaning in really close to Wheeljack. "Hey _sweetie,_ do you want to leave?"

"Why the _pit_ would I want to do that? These human drinks are amazing!" Wheeljack told the girl and turned back to the rest of the group. The girl raised an eyebrow, but still backed away. Miko laughed at the Wrecker who would obviously be needing a groundbridge back to base.

Arcee rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time at the chaotic mess she stood in. Raf spent most of the night on Bumblebee's and Bulkhead's shoulders because he was likely to get lost in the crowd of teenagers. The femme was so glad there weren't more of her kind here to see this. Out of nowhere, a guy bumped into her. He had dark hair and one uncharacteristically yellow eye for a human-until Arcee realized it wasn't a human at all. _"Breakdown?!"_

Breakdown turned around, "Autobots? What are you scrap heaps doing here?" The 'Con's gravely voice was a dead give away. He was wearing a pair of wolf ears, but other than that he wasn't wearing a costume.

"I think what are _you_ doing here is a better question," Arcee growled. None of the other 'Bots had noticed yet, so of course she had to deal with it herself.

"Humans throw crazy festivals. Knockout insisted it would be better than being holed up on the _Nemesis._ After this, we were going to hit up a drive-in theater. I lost him though. Have you seen him?" Breakdown was looking less than pleased being in the midst of all the sweaty bodies.

" _No._ We haven't." Then Arcee turned to the rest of her group, "Come on, we're leaving."

"What? We can't leave yet!" Miko protested.

"Yeah! Come on 'Cee," Wheeljack slurred. Bulk did a good job of directing the other Wrecker towards the door so all Arcee had to do was drag Miko.

"Call Jack, tell him we have to go," Arcee ordered but Miko shook her head.

"He's got a ride home, he said he was going to just go on back with a buddy of his. I wouldn't be surprised if he already left," the girl explained with a nervous posture. In truth, she didn't know what was going on with Jack, but if the Autobots knew he was probably drinking, he would be in some deep shit.

Arcee groaned and rolled her eyes again, but she still continued guiding the 'Bots and two humans outside to their vehicle modes.

…

The next morning, Jack woke up with a groan and tried to snuggle in deeper to the covers. They felt so _warm_ he could stay there forever. But suddenly, his face touched something-or _someone,_ was more accurate. His eyes flew open and he jumped back so much upon seeing a _naked body_ there next to him that he almost fell out of bed. Then, he realized he wasn't even at home! He had no clue where he was at! Memories from the night before kept trying to replay themselves in his head, but there wasn't not one clear one. The last thing he remembered was walking around the house, finding alcohol, running into two red-haired persons that he thought were Sierra- _Oh my God._

Jack hesitantly leaned over the _man_ in bed next to him and threw a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming when he saw the red-haired _bully_. _How the fuck did he get here?_ He screamed in his head and suddenly became aware of how naked he was too. Feeling self-conscious, he tried to pull the covers up around himself, which only did to stir his bed-partner. Vince yawned, flexed one of his arms and slowly rolled over. But he froze when he met Jack's horrified expression. Vince bolted up, "Darby?! What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT AM I DOING HERE' WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Jack shouted while trying to distance himself from the red-haired boy.

"THIS IS MY HOUSE! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" Vince shouted back and jumped up, rustling the covers more and making Jack lose his grip on the sheets he held over himself. The dark haired boy automatically pulled them back up and tried to leave the bed, but he was soon kneeling back down when a sharp pain shot up his back. He hissed in pain and Vince recoiled a little. "Woa, are you okay?"

"What the fuck happened last night?" Jack bit out through the pain. Then Jack looked down and blushed furiously when he saw the bully hadn't bothered to cover himself up. "Would you put some damn pants on?"

Vince thought about it for a second: Jack Darby was in his bed, _naked;_ Vince was also naked and his breath still smelled like alcohol-a _lot_ of alcohol. Now that they had stopped shouting at each other, he took into account the adorably tousled look of Jack's hair and the numerous _hickies_ running along the boy's collar. His jaw dropped when he put all the pieces together. "Oh my God. That _babe_ I took home was you?!"

"That _what?_ N- No way! W-we didn't! There is no possible way that we could have!" Jack denied, but then he tried to stand up again and that pain came rushing back. "You didn't even fucking lube up did you?" he growled.

Vince didn't really want to answer that question, mostly because he wasn't entirely sure. Jack seemed pretty sure though. "I...I, um, I'm sorry?"

"You fucking _asshat!_ You fucking raped me!" Jack screamed at him while forcing himself to get up and look for clothes.

Vince felt a pang of guilt. "I was drunk too! I really am sorry about the whole thing. I didn't know what the hell I was doing." Then he saw Jack trying to walk around his bedroom. "Okay, will you just sit down for a sec? I'll find your stuff."

Jack scowled at him but he still went back and sat on the bed with the sheets wrapped around him like a toga. Vince looked over his shoulder to make sure Jack wouldn't get up before he jogged down the stairs to search for whatever Jack had with him. It took a little searching, he looked under the table and on chairs, but he finally found a jacket and something black and unfamiliar discarded on the floor. He didn't know what it was, but it sure as hell wasn't his, so he shrugged and took it with him upstairs. On his way up, he turned it over in his hand trying to see if he could figure out what clothing it was. When he noticed the iconic blue stripe across the shoulders he had one thought: _I fucked Nightwing._

While Vince was gone, Jack looked around the bully's room. It was pretty much how any teenager's room would look: cluttered with clothes, stacks of homework assignments, and other miscellaneous junk. There was, however, a lot of family photos and a guitar in the corner. What caught Jack's attention the most was a note on the bully's night stand. He reached for it.

 _Jack,_

 _The Autobots sure know how to pick good pets. You made the most angelic sounds! I had a lot of fun with you, call me if you ever suddenly find yourself on the Nemesis._

 _-Knockout_

Jack felt all the air in his lungs leave and he felt like screaming. The problem with that was he didn't have the breath needed to make such a sound, so it came out like a strangled gasp. So not only did he screw around with Vince, but _Knockout too?!_ He sat back in the bed feeling completely filthy and disgusted with himself. How the hell did it even happen?

Vince went back into his room and tossed the outfit to a still mortified Jack, "Nice costume." He didn't miss the expression on the dark-haired boy's face, _he must still be in shock or something._

Jack groaned, deciding to put Knockout aside for a second-besides, he didn't know Knockout was really part of the whole thing for sure, maybe the 'Con was just playing a trick on him. He put Knockout out of his mind and focused on what he would do now, he forgot all about the stupid costume. He remembered he made an inner promise to kill Miko and he would damn well follow through. "Damn, I can't walk outside wearing _this_." Then Jack fumbled around the pockets of his jacket for his phone and saw three missed calls from Miko and _eleven_ from his _mother._ Jack slapped a hand over his forehead, _how the hell was he going to explain all of this?_

The bully stood awkwardly off to the side watching Jack fight with himself internally and felt he should at least _try_ to help him out. He did dry-fuck him last night. "Hey," he said pulling a few things out of his dresser drawers, "you can just borrow these."

Jack caught the sweats and t-shirt thrown at him, "R-really? Are you sure?"

Vince shrugged, "Yeah it's no big deal." Then Vince was trying to pick Jack up off the bed.

"W-what are you doing?" Jack went rigid feeling someone else's hands on him.

"We're taking a shower. Don't even try to fight me on it, it's _way_ too early to hear your bitching," Vince explained while carrying the naked sixteen-year-old into the joint bathroom he shared with his brother. For some reason, he kept thinking that he saw his brother last night coming home, but that could have just been the hangover talking. The bully was surprised Jack hadn't tried to punch him in the face yet because that was something he expected. But Jack let himself be carried into the bathroom and then set down while Vince turned the water on.

….

The shower was over pretty quickly, but it was relaxing. Vince insisted on washing Jack's hair for him-which was nice-and also massaging his shoulders and what not with a soapy rag-which was _very_ nice. A few times the bully got a little handsy, clearly over the initial awkwardness of their situation and started biting Jack's ear and planting kisses along his neck, and Jack had to smack his hands away. He let the kisses slide though, those were nice. He even went as far as to turn around and kiss the bully back.

When they got out, Jack slipped on the sweats and t-shirt-which were a little baggy on him-and followed Vince downstairs. They talked on the way down, Vince making jokes that forced laughs out of the other boy, but all of that came to an abrupt stop when they saw the man sitting at the kitchen table.

"Well. So they finally came down! First it was on the couch, and then the chair, and then the _stairs_ and the motherfucking hallway!" Vince's brother shouted as he histrionically dropped the newspaper he was reading on the table. "And the third guy left early this morning, just so you know."

"Vic, what the hell are you-?" Vince started to ask while shooting a nervous glance at Jack. "Wait, there really was a third guy?"

" _Six!_ I counted six times! And you didn't even ask me to join in _once!"_ His brother kept going on.

 _So, he was really there?_ The thought chilled Jack to his core more than any fall weather ever would. He wasn't even sure what to do about it. The best thing he could hope for would be the 'Con would just forget all and never approach the human. It wasn't like he was in bed with them this morning, it would be impossible to know exactly everything that happened. Jack looked at Vince and shrugged, _I don't know anything about a third guy._

Jack was one-hundred percent sure he was going to die of embarrassment-or he would just _die_ , because of all the crap that was suddenly thrown at him. _To think things got this bad over the course of one night is ridiculously horrifying._ Vince didn't seem to remember anything about the other guy, nor anything about Decepticons or Autobots, so at least Jack wouldn't have to explain any of that. Jack crushed the note from Knockout in his hand, shoving it into his pocket so he could dispose of it later. This was all way to weird for Jack and Vince must have picked up on it.

"Yeah I'm not sharing, so keep it in your pants, Victor," Vince said while pointing a warning finger jokingly at his older brother. Victor didn't say anything after that, but he did smile and give them the snapping finger-guns of approval. Then Victor got up and tugged down a bag from on top of the refrigerator.

"Breakfast is served! You kids enjoy and there are horror movies on the coffee table." Then Victor ran off to some other place in the house, leaving them alone.

Jack and Vince looked into the bag _filled_ with Halloween candy. I mean, what _else_ were they going to have for breakfast on the morning after Halloween? Vince grabbed Jack's hand and tugged him over to the couch. He dumped the entire bag in their laps until they were practically swimming in individually wrapped, miniature candy bars and plastic-enclosed twizzlers. Jack picked up the first movie case he saw and handed it to Vince to put in.

They spent the morning and well into the afternoon watching old horror movies and binge-eating candy. Jack, of course, had to call his mom and tell her he was fine, but wouldn't be coming home for a long time. It ended up being a decent Halloween after all. He could deal with Knockout later, if he ever had to.

…...

 **T**

 **But you all saw that one coming. Anyone interested in getting a chapter with the aftermath of all this insanity? Hopefully I was able to please both the Jack/Vince and Jack/Knockout shippers. Sorry for the crappy smut, that was my first time writing anything like that. And it started off** _ **straight**_ **, I can't do straight smut.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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